A Lothario From Ontario

There once was a man from Ontario

Who wanted to be a Lothario,

But his problems were such

That he couldn't rise much

With regards to his ol' ding-dong-derry-o.

Some Shoveling Advice

When shoveling in snow cold and brisk

Beware of the dangers and risk.

Remember this please:

"Keep back straight, bend the knees"

Or you'll find that you've slipped a disc.

Peter Patter (The Security Man)

A security man (though a fair sort)

Used to pat people down at the airport

Till the day he got slapped

'Cause he misjudged and tapped           

Where the skin is less tan and the hair short.

Dusty Cowboy

After hitting the trail 

where I rode hill and dale, 

I retire to the tub 

to get a good scrub. 

What method’s a must 

to wash off this dust? 

The cleansing solution 

is in this ablution.